Bruno Mars - Today My Life Begins

wow! its my first time to hear this song and it made me like it soooo sooooo much :) this is the song of my life now :) <3 it

0ct. 27th 2012, saturday 1:43 am


Now i know! DREAMS can truly be come true ONLY if you know how to DREAM !



I got a job!


MAKATI SHANGRI-LA
Naalala ku lang, Last year around february, I went to pmi to process my TOR/Diploma, something like that, at the same time went @heritage hotel to pass my resume. I just finished my onboard ojt soooo i was totally excited much that time, I thought pa nga mas madali aku makakapasok sa hotel coz of my ojts.. haha akala ku lang pala un :) On my way home I rode a bus, Im in Pasay that time, maiinit, madae tao, sakit na ng feet ku kakalakad at nakakagutom(sobra) at magisa lang ako. Just when I rest my aching body @ a bus, napapamuni muni aku, traffic(malamang EDSA eh) iniisip ku when they'll gonna call me, feeling ko tangap na agad aku kahit nagpasa plang aku ng resume. haha.. superb pa pagkapositive ku that time! Im not that super familiar pa sa south part ng edsa that time, so my focus is outside the window(baka lumagpas aku eh) then suddenly we passedby the makati area, wow. Dun aku naamazed, Dusit thani, Peninsula pati Intercon.. Pero mas lalo aku natulalei nung nakita ku ung Makati Shang. Paramis walang halong biro o etchos, I stared for about a minute siguro without blinking @makati shang, I dont know why pero among those hotels that Ive seen that time, sa makati shang aku nakabuo ng mindgoal, in my mind; "Grbe kelan kaya aku makakapagtrabaho jan? pano kaya jan magaaply? One of my dreams is to work there swear!". Kaya ngaun mejo di padin akes magmake believe that I was hired officially there, I passed that 5 interviews same as the training and evaluation. Malamang sau, sa kanila wala lang toh, but for me its a dream come true as in, its one of my bucket list and now its gonna happen baby! Yes honestly at some point I felt like I dont wanna do this anymore.why? coz I had doubt on myself whether I can do it or not, but when I had all those flashbacks of what Ive done just to make it happen, it completes me, somehow it tells me that I have and want to be here. Now, ive proven that if you have a dream, you work hard for it, it'll eventually come true.



Well... 3star condohotel(La Breza)? di aku para dun:)  4star hotel? (camelot) di rin aku para dun :) hmmm.. newly 5 star hotel? hah mas lalong di rin aku para dun:) dahil pang 5star bussiness shangri-la hotel pala aku :)
Know what honestly, those first attempts in hotel made a huge negativity impact on me, on my life. Everytime I got rejections, I have to ask myself "why?! What's wrong? Im doing everything Im not giving up but why still NO, always NO?!" It came to the point wherein I almost gave up. But now I understand why those rejections had happened, God wants a bigger opportunity, He has brighter plans for me, and now I know how FAITH can really help. He really exist, all the time :) You just have to TRUST Him.


Now, Im expecting a bigger and bolder challenges, obstacles and struggles but Im less worried and scared coz I know and have FAITH on him. From the workplace, workmates, guests and the work itself I know I'll encounter alot, but I'll just have to focus, do what's right always and NEVER give up on everything. enjoy, live and fullfill..


Im on halfway towars my GOAL, to be on a cruiseship :) still that's what I want :)




lovelife stat!
 I still <3 Rob! honestly! Im still inlove with him. dont know until when but somehow it kills me to the bone as days passby without him in my life:( He stopped texting me anymore when I told him we cant be together again. :( I cant see myself right now looking/flirting/loving for any other guy except him. :( iloveyouRobsanaalammo!



Got to go, its running late nanman. I have to wake up early :)




aikatz! still dreaming baby :)

..hay grabe! After 6months, I found this blog entry in my files and I wanna share it kxe ininspire akes nung mga thoughts ku! Specially the ending part, pati ung bout kai aj.. Ganun ku pla sya kalove dati?!! Hay! naloka aku, and definetely after 2years of loving this guy I can say that he's nothing to me now!! Got curious? I have his pic..

There he is. I cant believe that I used to love this guy before. And I learned that feelings can vanished din pala, but it takes time though.. Dati sobra at sobra akung inlabish to him.. as in.haha.. Pakatanga much din. Ung anything I'll do for him, kahit lugi at ginagago na nia ku, kiber basta mahal ku sya. Ung feeling ku kame na para sa isat isa. nakakatawa isipin at alalahanin! Hay! Siguro nga nagmamature nadin aku ngaun, narerealized ku na mga bagay bagay. haha! As far as I know, he has a girlfriend now, and they look perfect and I'm sooo happy they made it very well.. Actually ung pic niang yan kasama nia talga ung girl, but I just cropped. hehe! 


Right now, magoone month na akes single, and Im just enjoying it. I still love Robert and even he's doing things for us to be together again i'd rather choose not to. sabe ku nga mas bagay akung ganto eh, single. Para tahmik, para mas masaya. Bawas bawas din sa pagflirt para di aku nakakarma.. haha! mature mature din :) Enjoy life nlangssss!


Here's the blog entry awanna share! read!
april 08,2012
10:34pm

randomly speaking:) + im learning! promise!!

hey! zup? obviously im making this stuffs again, writing. why i used to do this over and over again. top reason is that it makes me feel better, most especially in this times, when im much stress.... ill just make my mind flow...i mean type what i want to, pretty jerk isnt it? hmmm.. not that much! am i talking to myself nanman ba? haha.. hmm.. forget bout it...

well, 8m0s had already passedby, since i seriously post on my blogsite..and im about to tell what had happened on that particular 8m0s....lol:)

it all started last year of july 29th, i was hired, as i wished and finally it was granted.. housekeeping/room attendant @mariefrance:)FIRTS JOB!!! did i work hard to achieved that job? hmmm.. not that much:) haha.. yabang. actually i was scheduled to have my application @dolphin agency(international cruiselines) about 2mos later but since i was hired it didnt happened. i mean i refuse on that dolphin agency over mariefrance. bad decision? maybe half yes and halfway no!! lol okay, lezznot talk bout that.. uhm, my first week @mf was like a hell, a very disgusting acting supervisor was worst + the work itself was worst than worst and i was like "nganga" talga. as in, kungbaga shock na shock, it was really a surprise on me. ang hirap pla magtarbaho:/ haha.. the pressures @work made me feel stress all of the time.. sometimes, i had to cry on my way to work, coz i was like "sheeet, im going work nanman, i have to surpass this day". crying lady, i must say, on my way work + way home.. while nothing sees me, @ the backpart of bus while heading the traffic road of EDSA..lol.. (tandang tanda talga) but soon enough i got used with it. i learned. actually if were gonna analyzed my work description its not as hard as it is,what makes it hard is the people around you.. when im @ morning shift, i really have to be early, maybe around 6 i should be @ the center, i have to wait for the other staff, the one who has the key, as soon as she arrived i have to open our center, it was kinda creepy most especially the part that i had to turn the lights on from the recept-hallways-pantry-cons rooms-treatment rooms which was about 20-25 rooms, ugh and dont forget the 2 switches of aircon and the they say haunted cr:).. when i first did the opening shift, i forgot to  punch my dtr on the bundy clock..haha.. aligaga much.. but as they say, practice makes perfect, after a couple of weeks im best @ it.. :) serving the clients was part of our job too, giving them all they need just to make their stay on us comfortable, also we need to follow up the rooms as fast as we can, maybe around 5mins it should be all done, from the linens to the set-up and most of all it should be clean, really clean, most of the clients were rich people that should be majorly treated well.. also, we have to fix the linens + towels and we also have our own laundrys, we need to finish all the dirty stuffs as much as possible(i know how to use those big washing machines + dryer:). washing the dishes, doing orders, doing the inventories of the commissaries, detergent, softener + tissues delievery.. we have some paper works to do.. sometimes attending to the needs of the therapist + consultant even the doctors..hayyyy! we have lots and tons of things to do on our working hours, we dont have that formal one hour break, you can eat whenever, but you should attend to every work, you should know how to balance eating + working.. the biggest part was that, we had to clean the whole center, our supervisor/team leader checks our center every now and then, and if she caughts a dirty center, get ready coz its a worst day for everyone....lol kaya minsan b4 i got to work, i made a deep breathe and i was like "whoa, haler toxic world please be good @ me today and ill just let it flow, come what may:)" kase you'll never know talga what's gonna happen next.. mabilis pa naman facing ng mga situation.. sometimes, its not maiiwasan na mai mga lost things ang client, since we were the ones who clean the rooms, they put the blame on us, eventhough we never ever stole they're missing fones, ipad, jewelry or even money, we were the suspect w/c mades me upset...but despite of all of those things im soo lucky kxe i was never ever kick out of that job, im the one who decided to stop it.. okay, on this first job, andae ku natutunan on myself....there were times that i felt i was really stress, w/c is normal as an employee, i became an alchoholic girl, i want to go gimmicks as often as possible, i thought it would relieved the stress that im suffering. ung mga times na wala na ku pake kahit ilang yosi na nahihithit ku, kahit ilan o anung drinks na iniinum ku.. worst was umuwi na ku ng morning, kse ayaw ku umuwi.. feeling ku na independent na ku, i dont even care for my parents, hay...na kung san san na ku nagsususuot na lugar, na kung sinu sino nlang dinedate ku.. na nging materialistic na ku, na walei na ku paki kung sinu nasasaktan ku, na naging TANGA ku(aj), na i make promises i cant keep, na walei na ku limitations on myself come what may, na im telling to myself that its enough but sige padin aku ng sige, na masyado akung harsh, na nakalimutan ku na ung goal ku and most of all, i keep on saying that im with God, but honestly im NOT, i've already forgotten Him. and all of that narealized ku lang lately, after i resigned, na basta andae and sobrang dae ku na plang fault.. and i think i was really on the wrong track... but as they say, everybody deserves a chance.. haha.. but i dont regret anything from those experinces coz it just built me more stronger and it gave knowledge on me.. i pity myself those times that i was lost but i never regret talga. parmis.. ive learned to appreciate life more than everything, that i was blessed, that i got more w/c i never see before. pag puro hatred talga nasa heart mu, nothings gonna happen. maybe being frustrated with <3 was the #1 reason why id suffer those things. all this time, over and over again, i kept on thinking and loving HIM, but its not worth it. un nga, love is really blind. cguro, out of 100%, 1% lang ung reason why should i love HIM, and that 1% makes me believe that i should keep on loving HIM. kahit mali, kahit malabo. i tried to look for love, kse i thought nga that it would make me forget HIM, for a while it worked, but in the end of the day, sya at sya padin naiisip ku...ang <3 ku..so corny right? but its true.. haaaayyyyy! thats the way it is.. pero since dumaan ung 2 weeks including ung holy week, nakapag isip isip nadin aku,,..


And ill continue my career.. ung muntik ku ng makalimutang career ku, goal ku.. haha.. uo nga e, buti nalang cover photo ku un sa fb.. that would be my super goal....:) "CRUISESHIP"
another emo story of me!! haha.. alam ku naman na dadating din ung time na mababasa ku tong mga kaaningan kung to, na proud and tatawanan ku nlang specially ung part ng </3 ku..ill be honest.. i still love HIM.. idk until when pero alam ku dadating din ung day na un! ryt JOHN LOMIBAO JR? lol

work work work i need u!! hotel industry here i come:) or much better ship life AGAIN:)
opportunity meet me ASAP:)

xoxo
aikatz</3    

10-09-12
12:33am

Hey! wazup? yes you.. the one who's reading my blog.. haha! I know naman that still somebody's reading this.. soooo wanna know lang if ur feeling okay! Obviously I cant sleep again, so that's why Im typing and typing and typing now, oppps Im listening music also :) Before, when I was about 8-9years old, I dont like listening music swear, specially during night.. I hate my sistah coz of that, she use to listen music before sleeping and since were on the same room, same bed I had no choice but to suffer.. haha.. but whenever she's asleep I turn the music off. Some sort of weirdo side of mine. But now, I LOVE music.. It can change my mood instanly + Im a pathetic hopeless singer.. haha! Malay mu, gaganda din ang voice ku. lol. OKay! today what I did is to clean our house, do our laundry(take note our washing machine's defective so I did it manually, using my hands) as a result my hands were burning to death.. haha. But no worries, I know it'll heal indue time! haha OA! Im enjoying being a house buddy.. As someone told me I have to enjoy everything that's happening in my life. Enjoy PRESENT! dont think much bout FUTURE :) Awanna share this pics pla with my two bulilit sibblings, After we had our dinner, we just had fun by taking pics.. They're not always in the mood to strike a pose soooo I made it sulit kanina :)haha




*happy to bond with them :)

I still got no response from Makati Shang.. but Irwin(one of my fellow applicant) texted me and says that his coor told him that his ojt will start on Monday. Since were on different agencies, still I cant assure that Ill have mine on Monday too.. soooo I have to wait still a go signal from my coor... FAITH + PATIENCE lang!



aikatz!

10-06-12 02:23am
saturday

blah blah blah...


Heya! Since Im not sleepy yet and looking over pictures, wanna share this weirdo pics of mine.. I just notice madalas akes my pimples na bonggang huge! haha! hmmm.... check this out

haha! most of the time its on my forehead! When will I ever be pimple free?.. You know what when I was 12 or 13years old, I always dream of having pimple so that I can start to use those toners and creams just like my ate. So because of my katangahan I start using those things at the age of 14 ata, even though I have a pimple free face, worst part is bec. of that my face was ruin, I was in my junior hs year when I stared having pimples, and from then I can get rid of it...haha! I do believe also that too much thinking can cause pimples + make ups! I always checks my hygiene, eat fruits, Ive tried to use ata all kinds of toners and creams but still...I cant be simply pimple worry free!!!lol



#shareness!
aikatz :)

OCTOBER 05, 2012 "gosh october na!!!"
01:24am and still awake...TGIF anyway! :)


What should I say? As I wrote on my "to do list" this month, I would write more blog entries...

oha! well, why should i? uhm simply coz I know and believe the next months for me will be busy busy + i feel more stress and I think blogging will somehow ease some of it!

uhmmm.. dah! I dont know what to say! Im f*cking speechless!...... okay! Lets start with why did I say Im stress??? Yah I know I always consider myself stress! But basically right now is more stressful than the other times, haha! may masabe lang?! I'll give you pointers-

#1 my career!
I dont know why Im so so so soooo much bother bout it, I had a little bit agony and somehow it kills me to the bones! How did it happened? I mean, before I was a total normal one, I dont care bout future, but now, its everything... If I fail, there's no point of living!Screw me for being sooo OA but that's definetely true. That's my point of view right now. SOS anyone?! At some point its good, I have the what you called "FOCUS", but sometimes it mades me so rude, as if everything's a competion for me that I have to win coz if I lose I might commite suicide!(ok, that one  i think its OA haha) Like now, Ive been waiting for that Makati Shang for my ojt/training for almost 2weeks, it bothers me alot that until now they've never communicate with me bout it and waiting is just a hard thing for me to do. Maybe because Im just here inside our house watch as time goes by and by and by and by....but despite of that, I still have 2things that's left behind and what makes me worth the waiting, FAITH + PATIENCE! :) still targeting CRUISESHIP baby!!! that's for sure! soooo wishmeluck!


#2 my family
okay! honestly I dont what to elaborate more on it, its NOT just because im ashamed of, its just I dont want to talk bout it coz it mades me sad. basta were on the rocks but I know and believe it'll be settled on the right time! We just need time to heal, to think, to accept and forgive each one of us...


#3 that guy! I fall on a wrong guy again!
okay! This one, I want to elaborate! haha
Who's this guy im talking with? Robert Belo! haha... Do I really have to type his full name? uhm Ofcourse I have! I love him!!! ILOVEHIM for Christ sake! And now im sooo having a hard time forgeting him, not exactly him coz I know I would never ever forget this guy, but im talking bout my feelings for him, its so hard to forget! Okay I know I never talk bout him on my previous blog entries, and I think I should now express what I really feel...He made a huge impact on me and I dont know why????!!

okay! It all started last MAy 12, 2012. Credits on my journal I have dates and proofs haha!

haha! As I try to remember this day it was full of energy, as in swear, We(Mami and I) went stroll @cubao. I dunno why but I felt like somethings gonna happen, and there it goes, I met him thru mami(beth), her classmate, they're realtives pa ata. But when I first saw this guy, I felt nothing, okay! He caught me for a while, goodlooking eh, but soon as I asked mami who's that guy, she told me he has a girlfriend and so I stop asking, I know Im a flirt but Im not a relationship wrecker + mami told me he's a police, haha alam na! tsk! BTW, we met accidentally!! or by fate??? haha


After almost 3mos, August 01,2012, I will never ever forget that day. I was @lrt line one, it was afternoon and Im soooo not on my best mood, I asked myself "Give me reason/s why should i be happy today oh God?" Then just after a couple of minutes my fone rang! when I check on it, Ive got 1missed call from an unknown #, I didnt mind it. After a while it rang again, Ive got 5msgs. 3 from that unknown # and 2 from mami. There you have it, mami gave my # to him. At first I never replied since im tired of flinging and flinging that time. I was like,"hay! lalake nanman! im sooo tired of this thing, gusto ku career naman!". But until I got home there's something that mades me want to reply on this guy. Until I replied and that's the start! I dont know why but we started perfectly, as if we knew each other very much. I can tell everything on him, my career, my family even the smallest details of my life. We went very well that made me believe that his really different and far from the others. Before ive got M.U's, flings but he offered to court me seriously "daw". I told him we can be magON instantly, but im not serious since im soo used with this stat, but he refuses he says he want us to be together seriously "daw". And I was wondering why? Days and weeks passed, this guy makes my life exciting. Just when he came into my life, career opportunities came in also and so I always called him lucky charm. All those times I know in myself that Im not inlove with him, yes interested much but still NOT love. We talked via text or call everyday.

He sets dates wherein we can meet and bond with each other but it always fails to happen simply because i dont want to. I never thought that I would end up meeting him, maybe I was a bit curious nadin bout him + i know this guy is something sooo finally we met last AUGUST 27,2012 and we're officially together! Actually a night before that day I already told him that were ON starting that next day. I was really happy that day! best date ever as of now, i must say! But still I never thought I love him, Im just having fun, that's it. I never care for  my true feelings for him then.

After the date, we communicate more, and I like it. After almost 2 years Im in a serious relationship stat again. I promised him I'll be serious, really serious bout him, deeply serious. I make believe myself that he's feeling the same way! A week ago, it was changed! I dunno why he just ly-low, as in, less phone puch and text, it came to the point that we start fighting for his doings and he start not to text me anymore! The fuck! I dont know why! Its much okay if he confronted and said straightly on me that he doesnt want "us" anymore, that he had enough. But I got nothing, he just vanished without saying anything! At first I was like "shet! anyun? ganun ganunan nlang? okay if that's what he wants!" but as days passed and still I got no text from him, I start worrying and feeling the pain of what he did. He just hang me up in the air! That's the point I told myself "potek! mahal na pala kita Robert! sheeeeet ambobo ko"....He never text me talga, I think for 5consecutive days, as in no reply! Until that one Sunday afternoon I was @Quiapo, praying and ask sign from God if I should start forgeting him, right after my prayer, I had a msg from him! God gave me the sign instantly, but @ first I didnt accepted it in a blink, it count 3days before I cant help but to answer again his calls, from then, I start asking him why why why he did that. His reasons were soooo rude, it doesnt make sense, but since I love him I had no choice but to be "tanga". We still continue what we had, but were not what we're before. I miss so hard the "us before". We communicate less, just when he wants to. Until finally I decided to cut it off! I texted him! It was last september 21, 2012, 6days before our first monthsary! I never thought that it'll end like this!

I thought we'll make it longer, stronger and seriously but anything of that didnt happen. Just the other day, he try to text and call me again and acting like nothing wrong had happened, like I never texted him that Im giving up. And it took alot of encouragement for me NOT to reply or even answer his phone calls! I really need to be "focus" and NOT tanga! Yes I know its hard coz I love him super duper as in bonggang bongga! Its really hard to let him go just when I really dont like to, but I have to do this, hanggat kaya ku pa sya ilet go, Ayoko dumating sa point na walei na kung magagawa kundi pakatanga nalng skanya ever! I have to accept the fact that he's just another sh*t guy who just broke my heart again, that he's NOT different from those past guys I had! and still I fall on the wrong guy:(

talking bout moving ON!! that's life!

For you Rob!
Still its a big question for me why biglang naging ganyan ka? Dba I always tell you okay lang saken kahit iwanan mu ku anytime, you just have to tell it to me straightly. Not like this, youre just trying to make me feel okay tau pero hindi, hinding hindi alam mu yan! Nahurt aku swear! Pinaglaban kita kay mama na iba ka sa lahat, pero ngaun wala aku masabe mas tama padin pla si mama. Akala ku kaya ku makipagsabayan sa trip mu, hindi pla coz the more i stay the more it hurts. Sana from the very beginning sinabe mu sken na ganto gusto mung set up edi sana I dont make believe myself na serious us. Unfair ka! super! Aku sinasabe ku lahat lhat ng nasa isip ku bout sau pero ikaw hindi. Well kahit ganto ending natin, I thank you for teaching me to be more mature! Siguro sobrng immature ku date but now I know what's my priority and not. Andae at sobrang dae mung advice saken na sobrang tama at nagsink-in sakin ng bongga! Sa family ku, that I have to follow my parents, they still know what's best for me. Sa mga ginagawa ku like, panget sa gurl umiinom pati nagiismoke. Andae ng nagsabe sken nun pero nung ikaw na nagsabe nun dun ku lang narealized na tama pla un. haha walang halong biro. Pati ung pagsasalita ku ng bad words, ung EPAL, fuck, shit... Im starting to live without those words :) tnx! And sabe mu ang love di un hinahanap kxe kusang dumadating un, dati I dont believe in that but now i know its soooo super true. kxe katulad mu kusang dumating lang sa buhay ku kahit di ku naman hinahanap at inaasahan. eww ang corny much ku nu pero everything ng sinabe ku dito super true! lahat naman ng sinasabe ku totoo eh! Im regreting one thing, sana pala di nalang kita sinagot, kase mas masaya ung date eh, nung di pa tau, enjoy lang... un ung sobrang namimiss ku. pramis i super duper love u right now! and that's why I decided to cut this off. hanggat kaya ko pa! Sorry if I fail to talk to you thru fone,pinramis ku kxe un, im not gonna teks u anymore not until I forgotten my feelings for u, di naman kita kakalimutan, its just too way impossible, part kna ng life ku, ung feelings ku lang sau ung kakalimutan ku. Im not mad at you swear I just dont need to talk to you right now, give me atleast two months and promise we can be friends again if you still want to. Basta di aku bitter ah. Ikaw, baka ayaw mu na ku makita/makausap for life, haha decision mu yan, basta im telling everything what's on my mind. Its not drama or what. Dapat di na talga aku magoopen sau pero naisip ku pangit din not to elaborate you all of this afterall isa ka sa mga truly sineryoso ku. :) okay! ive said alot. goodluck on us! may you find the right girl for you, i'll pray for that:) tnx for everything! you're still a blessing for me. Godbless! :)   

 
I sent it in his fb account, so he'll probably read it surely! After writing that, I feel much more better! *sighs And so I promise this OCTOBER will be a behave month for me, Ill never look, hunt, search and need love:)
I have some topics and postings to be discuss but since this "love" issues of mine had blown me out that I felt tired and I think I need and deserve some rest. I'll just continue this when I got time(of course I do have lots of time, Im unemployed, not busy!) I mean when I get my mood again i'll discuss those! haha

nightie!!!

aikatz!
#moving oN :)