me: uo naman nu!!:)
sila: weeehhh? san banda?
hahah! im soo get used with that convo? why they dont just believe. even you, right? watevs. believe it or not, i am still VIRGIN:) i am 20 now, and its my choice to stay virgin.
ive been through lots of situation na muntik na makuha saken yan. but the most memorable was this guy we'll call aj. i use to like him for fun until it became real, as in. i had a huge crush on him. im always looking forward to see him.i was 18 by that time and so he was. were both having our onboard ojt @ cebu, but not with the same shipping company. were seeing each other 4times a week. and for those 3 days na di ku siya nakikita, naloloka ku, i must say, patay na patay na talga ku sa kanya. moreno, suplado, gwapo, isnabero, pachoosy, pak.. kaya he totally got my attention. anadae ku fling that time, pero he's different.there's something with him and he challenged me alot. i stalked him for God's sake, just to know more of him. until we became friends but he seemed too awkward with me, he's not interested with me either. wala as in walei. wa epek lahat ng effort ku teh! pachoosy talga ang lolo mo. i decided to stop all of this kabaliwan nung nagfeeling na siya, basta. nayamot talaga ku sa kanya. he had taken me for granted. i even promised to myself that ill never make papansin to him, i dont even texted him. i then became busy with other flings, until one night, he called me, i was with somebody else that time, but since i saw his name on my phone, and he's calling, i made some alibis just to attend on his call, somehow he's still special for me, i realized that time. we talked, i almost forgot what we'd talked about that night but since then, we remained bonded through our phones. it was december 2010. it was a busy month for all of us, passengers month, also im too much excited that time coz ill go back home(in manila) before that year ends. until xmas eve had come. i never expected it would happened. since that was the first xmas eve without me in my home with my own family, i really felt sad, eventhough we had a company xmas party, its different, its strange. he invited me to be with him, to celebrate our first date, our first xmas without home, somehow, it did felt good to be with him,i was drank and wasted but i trusted him very much:( i do love him:( and when he did kiss me, i cant do nothing but to resist the moment. sabe ku pa nun sa isip ku: "shet, aiah, eto na yung matagal mu ng hinitay, alam ku mali tong nangyayare, pero yaan mu na! kiss lang naman to pti last na to, paramis!!"(ang naughty ku talga). haha. everythings fine na nga sana eh, pero potek pagdilat ku may camera ampota!! they're taking video of me and him kissing! and worst is that aj knows everything bout it all the time! f*uck right? kahit sobrang basag aku that time, i still had a chance to have that phone and delete that f*cking video. we all decided to end that party. but aj didnt stop then, while others approached to the ship to have some rest, both of us walked through the street and we eneded up hanging @the "bayan". we talked from there, i really felt dizzy,(d ba nga makulet aku pag lasing) but i know exactly whats happening. masyado akung nadissapoint kay aj!!! sobra.. i love him for real that time but he just loves me for lust. i know he wants to did the deed! but still i trust him:( he wants us to check in a motel. i never did say yes, but he then decided on his own that were going. i insisted on myself that he''ll not gonna do this to me, he's different from other guys, i prayed so hard! for the very first time of my life i entered in a motel, from then, i still believe on myself that he'll not gonna do this to me, he'll respect me coz i love him, but i was wrong, he's just after for the pleasure. yea, he tells me that he loves me then, but i know its not true... yea? your curious if something had happened right? haha! believe it our not,yea there's something, but not that much. dba virgin pa nga ku! honestly! im so thankfull din coz i got my "." that time, i think its too gross to have my first sex while i have my "." right? tska buo talaga ung mind ku na ayaw ku talaga!! i have to be wise and play smart! and honestly d naman talaga kame!!!! kame kamehan lang!! i remember umiyak pa nga ku nun eh!! nagmamakaawa! chos! haha! being on that scene was drastic! i dont have any regrets naman bout that! exprience nadin un, lahat ng mga pangyayari that night ginusto ku din naman, aku at aku ang nagpunta sa sarili ku sa ganung situation. its my choice! but i had to play it really wise!!! i leave him alone on that room, get some money from his wallet(haler! fone and lighter lang dala ku that time, kinailangan ku ng money for my transpo pabalik sa barko only to found out na walei naman din pla ku masasakyan:/) and leave him a note. nakakatawa nga kxe ung note na sinasabe ku, anggang ngaun daw nasa wallet pa nia, he told me when we had a chance to talk to each other via phonepatch, a couple of months ago. we talked to each other bago ku bumalik here in manila, and all i want that time is to hurt him, gusto ku siya sampalin, suntukin, basta naasar talaga ku bout what had happened. pero nung nakita ku siya, wala, nawala lahat ng yamot ku sa kanya. as in , i just stared at him, pero sya parang wala lng. halatang halata na apektado aku. that was the last time we saw each other...
im supposed to tell something bout me being virgin right? bat parang naging story na to ni aj? hmmm.. as ive said a while ago, being virgin is my choice. i can flirt as much as i wanted to, but when it comes to sex, to me its different thing. call me primative, conservative(hmm.. not really!), old fashioned, etchusera, or anything. kahit na andae at sobrang daming tukso sa paligid, i'd rather choose to be virgin until i marry my man, im not making a promise nor a statement, thats IF i have to choose, i dunno whats gonna happen tomorrow, the next month, next year, i might get crazy out of love, we dunno right? im just telling my perspective when it comes to SEX. and im still hoping it'll come true:))
sometimes, nacucurios din naman aku....
honestly, im soo curious how it feels on the very first time, uo they say it hurts alot, pero nakakacurious talaga. ive watched porn movies and videos din naman sometimes(lalo na ung mga famous scandals) + i know some sex stories of my friends + ive already had a chance to watch a liveshow + i know more and more facts about sex, pero iba parin talaga pag ikaw na ung gumagawa, and that's why im sooo curious bout it.... haha wala lng.. curious much lng talaga promise:)
survey lang:)
what age did you have your first kiss?
-18:)
with whom?
-top secret! nakakahiya eh
was he your bf?
-yea he was:)
what was it feels like?
-nothing! as in. no spark at all.
do you love him?
-absolutely NO!
what would you choose smack or torrid?
-of course torrid:)
do you love to kiss?
-yes! i do, i love to kiss:*
hug or kiss?
-can i have both?
do u kiss on first date?
-hmm.. not actually, but ive tried once:/ and its a major TURN OFF!!!!!
are you hanging out with a guy right now?
-no im not! too busy looking for a job:(
last date you had?
-last 3mos na ata, 2consecutive dates was postponed! out of interest with me:(
lights ON or OFF?
-OFF:/
what's your favorite sex position?
-haha. i never tried any, but i think helicopter sounds great!! haha:)
what is SEX?
-for me, sex? uhm (think for30secs.) way of expressing your love? haha! kalibugan:p
message to the virgins out there:
-haler! virgin or not, its our choice:)) so let it be!! horaay!
aikatz:))
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