ms. NO COMMITMENT please

i never had any serious relationship with a guy since birth. yes, i do fall in love, but most of the time, in the wrong one. im not a man hater nor a bitter girl. i just think love is very much cruel to me. primary and secondary year for me was hard. as a girl i always dreamed of having my own boyfriend, but it didnt came, i used to like and love several boys from school but they rejected me. nobody appreciates me, and if there's anybody would, i just dont liked them back. i guess that's my problem that time. all through those years, ive tried so hard to have a boy, whom i can finally call mine. maybe im too much pihikan din coz im always looking for the perfect one, i never thought that time that mr. perfect wasnt exsisting. haha. i used to believe in a happily ever after story, perfect love story. that's me before..... i never wanted to study after high school, all i want is to work immediately, my mom just insisted. i told her i dont what to study a 4years course. until i found a course in pmi whose only for one year, plus the fact that i know there'll be lots of boys there and hopefully met my mr. perfect there, i choosed PMI. but it didnt helped me find mr. perfect, instead from there i started to switch my perspectives bout guys. ive been studying with them, and they taught me 101 reasons why should i hate them. from there i realized how bad they were, how cheaters were they. i know its too bad for me to include all the guys to be like them, but believe me or not, i never ever found a real man in my life right now, ever. i havent seen a perfect guy!!

*top reasons why i hate committment

#1 reason why i hate comittement, im scared to love a guy. days and weeks and months and year passby, i learned to play their games. at first its strange, but as soon as i get used with it, ive got along with it. you cant never put away the assurance when im flirting a guy, i dont just flirt. somehow im looking forward with them, knowing that they'll be different, but in the end of the day, they werent. until now, that's how its used to be. i never search for love, it just strikes me, whether i like it or not. but when i think its not worth it, i never pushes myself with it. i know when to hold on and not to. having no commitment is risky sometimes, lalo na when youre really having fun then suddenly he would just taken you for granted.
its hard for me to trust a guy.....

#2 reason why id stay single, i have a dream, and i dont want to be distracted by a relationship. yea i know it can be an inspiration on both of you, but it can also be a distraction. i want to focus on my goal, that's it..that's my priority.      
#3 maybe i really dont know how to love for real!!lol(teach me how to love) honestly!!!!

#4 im too much COMPLICATED:/


ill share this poem ba to or something like a saying, i found it on my idol's blog. actually she doesnt know that i reposted it.. i just like the thought coz it perfectly suits me:

Ayoko magcommit.
Gusto ko ganito lang.
Walang away.
Walang nagkokontrol,
Walang responsibilidad,
Walang naiiwan sa ere.
Pwede ka umalis kahit kelan mo gusto,
Pwede ka sumama kahit kanino,
Pwede kang kumawala pag hindi ka pa sigurado,
Pwede kang mang-iwan pag nakahanap ka na ng bago.
Higit sa lahat, walang naloloko, walang nasasaktan,
Wala namang karapatan e.
Ang importante masaya ko,
Single pero alam mong may nagmamahal sayo.
May limitasyon pero ako pa rin yung totoong ako.
Okay na ko sa ganito,
Kasi alam ko naman sa sarili ko na hindi pa ko handa ulit magseryoso.

Hinihintay ko pa yung katapat ko para mabago tong pananaw na to.

i was also surprised to see this note of mine, maybe i made this a year ago, promise i never thought that i wrote this..33guys in 6mos :P


aikatz:))