Yow. Uhm today. I slept late last night and woke up feeling great, after how many days Im back to work, I missed doing my daily working routines Just when i saw a text mgs from Rob. Actually its six msgs. telling why did I told Liz about his son. Seriously, I was shocked. What was that? i never ever talked to that girl since the revelation days. I told Rob it wasnt me. but hetold me na I was just the one who knows bout it, thats why he's pointing me. From then, I immediately check my fb account and boom! I was right, Liz had left a long and sooooo strange msg on me telling she knows the truth already. Gotta! she's stalking my fb, and now my blogsite. Ive seen from the history of the people who views my account :) haha. And shes sooo indenial bout it. Honestly, I dont feel like doing this blog today. All that happened today made my day already. But I have to do this. (Ill write more in here right?)

Sooo un na nga, She dont stop from sending msg. At first, ayoko tlga patulan, kaxe in the first place kung wala na sya pakialam kay Rob, d nya dapat ginagawa to, and kung para naman sa clarification, why is she asking me bout the infos of the rumored son of Rob, sabe nya nakausap na nya c cathy, soo why kailangan pa nya ku isali. He humiliated me alot

Asan and defensive and desperate dun. she asked me a question, sinagot ku lng naman.Normal akung kausap nya. Siguro sobra lng ung galit nya, feeling nya pagalit ku din sinasabe lahat. Kung galit aku dat time sana may exclamation point dba.Isip din.
Pero pinalalagpasku lng padin sya un, sabe ku nga say what she wants to say, di ku sya aawatin dun, eh dinadamay na nya parents ku! the fuck! ibang isapan na un, Mess with me, fine. But mess with my family, duh ur dead. Binalaan ku pa sya ng maayos na wag nya idamay ang parents ku. Pero sinubukna nya ku lalo..

Kung di nya lng dinamay ung parents ku, kung nilawakan lang nya ung pagiisip nya, di na kame magbabatuhan ng masasakit na salita. I felt sorry din naman, kaxe nagpadala aku sa emotions ku, magulang ku na dinadamay nya eh. Kelan man di aku naniniwala na nakasalalay sa mga magulang kung anung kalalabasan ng kanilang anak, bakit may mga mabubuti namang magulang pero kriminal ang mga anak nila. at may mga krimnal na magulang na mabubuti ang anak nila.Para sakin nasa pagkatao mu yan,wala pdeng ibang sisihin kundi ang sarili mu kung anu ang mga kinahihinatnan ng buhay mu. At kung iniisip nya na ubod at sukdulan ang pagkasama ku, well. Pareho kaming wlang alam na pinagsabay kame ni Rob, Nung nalaman ku lahat ng truth, REVENGE lang ang naiisip ku that time.Ayoko maging masya si Rob that time,bulag aku sa lahat ng taong nasa paligid namin, basta ang gusto ku maghganti. Aminado at sobrang aminado aku dun, malaki ang kasalang nagawa ku nun. Pero kaya nga nagconfess aku sa kanya eh, dahil panahon na un para itama lahat ng mali. Ayoko sisisihin ang sarili ku habambuhay dahil lang sa pagkakamali kong un.Tama na ung nagsisi aku, gumawa aku ng paraan para mabago at ngayon tapos na yon, Im starting to life my life trying to change for a better person. And that's to show Rob na kahit anu man nangyari sa nakaraan, may chance pa sya, di pa huli lahat. Kaya aku di bumibitaw sa kanya, kase naisip ku aku ung way ni God for him to realize all of his wrong deeds. And sooo far, nakikita ku un sa kanya. Ung mas malapit kay God, nakikita kung gusto na din nya ayusin ung sarili nya. Nakikita ku ung progress nya. He listen worship songs in the morning. Malaking pagbabago un sa kanya, ikinagulat ku tlga. I still love him uo, but Im not assuming na kami as lovers, gaya nga ng sabe ku paulet ulet. I dont know whats gonna happen in the future. Ayoko, at hindi tama na ipagpatuloy namin ung relationship ngayon dahil di un ang tama. Lahat ng tao sa paligid ku at nya tutol samin. sobra. alam ku un. Ang gusto ku lang matulungan sya. Alam ku d din naman aku naging mabuting gf sa kanya. Pero sya masasabe ku na tumutulong skin pagmay problem aku, nagaadvice kumikilos, sobrang daming memories namin together na sobrang good and masaya. I never felt that kind of love from any other people Ive known. He undestands me alot, take cares for me alot. Sobrang iniintindi nya ku if I want something. That feeling, di mu masasabe na peke, coz I feel that the love was genuine. Nararamdaman kung may pinanghuhugutan sya sa mga pinagdaanan nya from his past. I still believe na may pag asa pa sya. Madami ng sumuko sa kanya, pero I wouldn't. Minahal ku sya, first true love pa nga eh. Ayoko matapos ang lahat sa bitterness. Madami syang itinuro at still tinuturo sakin sa buhay. Kung desperada akung maging kame sana tinanggap ku na ung proposal nya nung may 10, before his bday, sana may anak na kame ngaun, or sana magkasama na kame together sa iisang bahay ngaun. Ung ang desperate. but Im not,Id rather let things to happen on God's way. Magtiwala ka lang Liz, I know kung ganu kasakit ung nararamdaman mu ngayon, but it will heal eventually. Pag tinanggap mu sa sarili mu. Wala na kame magagawa ni Rob sa mga nangyari sa past. Wala rin kameng magagawa kung di mu kami mapapatawad.

Habang nasa bus aku pauwe, naisip ku eto nanman, magulo, same feeling a couple of months ago, pero dapat nga ba aku magpaapekto dahil sya paulet ulet bumabalik sa nakaraan? I guess not. Kaxe aku alam ku kung nasang part na ku, and sooo I change my mood into a good one. Baka this is just God's test how much Ive faith on Him that I have. And atsome point, nagpatalo nanman aku,coz lumevel aku sa galit na nararamdaman ni Liz, pumatol aku sa kanya, w/c I could avoided, If only she didn't involve my parents. hay! Cguro kulang pa ung tiwala, Ill push it more next time may mga gantong situations :)
I txted Rob, told him napatulan ku si Liz, We talked bout it and we had plans already. :) Sakin nlng muna un. I feel much better right now. :) That's y I love blogging. :)


got to go.Its getting late. I have work tomorrow :)

aikatz still fighting