It all started when I finally decided to go here in Bahrain. Malayo at ibang iba sa Pinas, but I never force myself to easily fall inlove with somebody. Since Im still broken hearted by that time from my first love. Loving was least of my priorities. But I guess, ganun naman talaga un, pag di mo ineexpect dun sya dumadating. He is my workmate. It started as good friends. Some point, I admire him. He is one of those people who trained me, since Im new. He is so kind and not the bossy type. He lets me know everything that I should learn including the standards ng hotel. We used to talk casual until he calls me on the phone. One day he showed me my solo pic and his in one love collage. Hahahaha. That sure thing made me laugh and made me think he is crazy. I dont know why but he really got my attention since then. Then, he asked me what does "mahal" means coz ate Lucille (pinay workmate) always calls everybody with that. When he found out the meaning he always calls me that way too. Everynight we used to chat on viber, I was a bit turned off coz most of the grammar or spelling is wrong. There is really something different bout him that mades me feel not to ignore or taken for granted him. Until I just woke up one morning realizing how important he is on me. Maybe because hes always there when I need somebody to talk to. He can listen to me whatever drama I had. Specially those days coz Im still adjusting to the environment here. He always tells how much he loves me, how Im starting to change his life, he even told me that Im his first love, specially when talking on the phone. He never force me to love him just as he loves me, he knows exactly what happened on my past relationship and hes willing to wait. Until.....
Oct. 07, 2015
I dont know whats sooooo special that day aside from thinking bout him. I just dont know. I decided to write a letter for him, sinulat ko lang lahat ng nasa puso ko and I ended up saying yes to him. That same day I gave him the letter. I kept asking him if he already read the letter, but always says not yet. When he got home, he called me, feeling sooo surprised and excited. And soooo were officially together. We kept it to everybody coz we dont want those unwanted issues. It wasnt never easy. And from then mas marami pa palang susubok sakin, samin.
First date
We finally decided to go on a date. I never felt scared at all. I trust him fully. Except the fact na mejo ayyy I mean super na turned off ako that night. He fetch me 3 blocks from my home. Since baka nga daw may makakita samin na kawork at maissue. He doesnt like gossips and rumors thats why he can never send and fetch me door to door. We crossed the street without even looking after me, as in kanya kanya. I was like?? "Hello, gf mo ko, baka gusto mo ko alalayan sa pagtawid" but I just made dedma rather than telling. Another thing is that I can smell him slightly B.O. and strong perfume (major turned off) and the most kagimbal gimbal issue is that he confess to me that he cannot write and read english. And I was like.... seriously?????????!!!!!!!!!!! We promised to each other that we will not lie and soo he confess it to me as early as then. I told him I cant love him anymore. Whats on my mind that night is what other people will say if I go with this kind of man, who doent even know how to read and write. Nobody will allow me to get into this relationship. I asked him what does he want from me, I even told him that maybe hes just after sex. My heart really melted when he told me he loves me. He simply want to love me with all of his heart. That even if I dumped him that same night he would still look after me, still care and love me. He can prove to me that his intension for me is good.
This was our very first picture together.
Even if there is some doubts on my mind,I keep getting to know him more. And as the days go by. I can really feel that he really loves me. I can tell him everything to him without even judging me. He let me feel like hes my bestfriend, my protector, my adviser.
First time I saw him crying
I kept asking myself how did I got into this situation. Why did I choose to love this guy. Is love just enough?? Days, months passedby. Im really falling inlove with him. Ung feeling na my day is not enough pag di ko sya nakausap. At first inisip ko feeling ko lng siguro, coz he spoils me alot. Pero hindi eh. There is really love. Pero as what they`ve said, there is no perfect love. Meron at meron kayong magiging conflict. At di madali.
Love is a sacrifice.
Nung una, di ko naisip na madami kameng pagkakaiba. Ang alam ko lang is muslim sya, catholic ako. But I always ended up telling to myself that atleast we both believe in God. Thats what matters. But then, dumadating talaga sa point na lalabas at lalabas ung pagkakaiba nyo.
*First he told me that I should never wear shorts or skirts or anything that shows my skin, specially my legs.
>okay. I can. No problem.
* I should never shout or talk loud or laugh loud in public places.
>oh well, this is sooo me. But I can. No problem.
* I should not talk to the boys much. Not even going out.
>this sounds OA, but Im controlling. I can still.
*I should deacctive my fb account
>it took as a bit discussion but both ageed that I will just minimized upload pictures instead of deactivating. Okay. I can.
*Whats his decision is both our decision.
>oopps this is too much. this time it got into my nerves. There is one incident that we go out, we already planned that we will try some local foods( kabab) and sheesha. He really wont allow me to have sheesha but since makulit ako, I keep insisting until I convinced him that it would be the first and last. After eating, we passedby to the kubos store. Id love eating that and so we stopped and bought some. As soon as we got the kubos, we need to keep walking since pagabe na nga. I told him I want to eat while walking. He wont allow me coz masama daw ang kumakaen habang naglalkad. But I dont want, I told him mas masarap kaini un pagmainit. But hes not listening to me. Until he told me were not going to the have sheesha. I really got angry, since sabe ko nga it was planned already tas magdedecision sya na wag nalang. What is this. That time I felt like im a robot. That he will dictate me all the things thati should do and not. We really had a huge fight that time. Althought it was jus me whos really making it big deal. Kahit anong suyo nya skin that time inis talaga ako. Dun ki naisip na tama ba na pinasok ko tong relationship na to. Coz Im starting to feel that it was not me anymore. Andami na nyang binabago skin. I broke up with him that time. I even told him to walk away from me, but he didnt. He even send me home. Then as I told him stop following me, I saw his eyes crying. That time naguilt namam ako and shocked. Coz di ako makapaniwala that he is crying infront of me. Dun ko narealized na iba sya. Hinding hindi ko makakalimutan ung gabeng un.
Shall continue.............
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