Monday 6 July 2015

July 7,2015 3:23am

Whats on my mind and Whats on my heart. ❤

Hey! Its been awhile since the last wrote. Uhm. As you can see its 3am in the morning and Im sooo wide awake. Bakit nga ba?! Definitely I cant sleep. Nope actually I am about to sleep then naisip kong magblog. When I opened my blogsite, nagthrowback reading nanman ako then suddenly I felt my tears falling down, I am soo surprise to know that until now, there is still pain in me,I thought Ive moved on. Well, practically I am. I am so okay na today( no halong biro or etchos!). But as I read those stories again, for some reason naramdaman ko nanman that pain, I thought I got to overcome this na, since moved on na nga ku dba. Maybe there are things in life lang tlga na hinding hindi na dapat balikan. Hay! Bat ba kxe makulit ako. Why Im such a wonderer much, but to be honest, wala na ung bitterness of the past, no more those "cge pakatanga kpa aiah" stage. What am I talking about nanman ba?! Parang walang sense nu?! Or meron akong gustong ipoint out but I just cant express it. Basta un na un. Hehe

What's on my mind.
Well, anu nga ba?! Uhm uhm when will I leave kaya?! I mean the exact date. San ako pupunta? Bahrain,contract for two years, will be working on a hotel. Last year, or last last year, or even last 2,3,4 or 5 years ago, I never ever dream of working landbase, on middle east and for that 2long years. Its a big big as in major big no. But why Im settling for this now??? Ewan ko ba! Hehe di joke :). Well, such a long story. It was last June 4 of this year when I surrendered everything on Him (LordGod) I was in the middle of nowhere, no job, no money, had a bad relationship with my fam(sort of fights) uhm few friends, devastated from an unexpected change of plan(jebsen, di pa kame makakaalis coz still waiting for the need of the company) basta I felt really empty that time. The next day, it was a surprise. The only money left on my hand was 200+ php. I have to go to Tesda to file my cav, Heading to the office one of ex workmate texted me that they'll be going to Manila for some sort of job hunting(shipping agencies). Having a dilemma of coming with them or not, I told myself "Since 200+ php nlng ang money ko, I have to pay 140php sa Tesda for my cav, I will not go with them and go home instead, but God really made a way, surprisingly, the cashier just ask me to pay 30php and pay 100php on the DFA when my papers are ready to release. Indeed it was Gods plan, naisip ko kaya after that I headed to Manila and meet my colleagues. We went to Service On-line,an agency known by princess( my colleague) she told me that there is hiring for hotel jobs in Canada there, so we give it a shot.
Theres no open for Canada but instead for Bahrain only, this Elite Group from Manama Bahrain with chains of hotels there is currently in need of hoteliers and we were asked to go back there on Monday for the employers interview, I was not interested that time,since sabe ko nga I dont want that work, its out of my plan. But since I had two days to think about it. I did research all about bahrain, that elite hotels there and all of a sudden I accepted it, I wanted it and I love to be there,it just happened naturally. That Monday, it was the last day for the employers to do the interview and luckily I passed it. I come think na baka ito na nga un, eto na siguro ung para sakin. That it was all part of Gods plan for me. Wala akong bigat na nararamdaman the whole time na naginterview ako upto now na Im done with my medical and now processing my visa na,its all smooth sailing. From that span of a month nagkaroon ulet ng path ung life ko and nabawi lahat just because I surrendered eveything sa Kanya. Iba tlga pag may trust sa Kanya. Thank you Lord! :) Looking forward for your next plans for me. :)

What's on my heart....
Hehe. Ayiiiiee. Anu nga ba nasa puso ko. Oh baka naman sino. Heheheheh.
Well, sya padin?? Hehe uo. Syang sya. I wonder bat ganun. Lahat ng pwedeng gawin Ive done na just to forget him, d na naman ako like before na katangahan overload, nakamove on na ko sa paghope na meron p kameng chance, pero from a far I still do love him, ung gusto ku okay lng sya ke magkajowa man sya o wala. Basta ang kulet, hehe then sometimes, love is unfair. There is this one guy na nameet ko through common friends. He told me he likes me, wants to know me more, in short shows interest on me. But when I try to open myself for him,I just cant. Hes nice, kind, super gentleman in words and deeds but I dont feel anything for him. Then, khit I have told him that I had this epic fail relationship before, he just keep saying that it didnt bothers him and hes willing to help me get through with it. Dba. Bat ayoko tlga. And khit sino pang guy now ang makilala ku, I just cant feel that feeling of being excited or what, uhm mutual feeling for them. Maybe really time will tell, when will I ever fall inlove with someone again. That day when I dont love him anymore. That time that finally I can say that I cn let go of him,in my heart. I love you Rob, over and over but  this time, Im loving you from afar coz Im not gonna use my heart but instead I'll trust God. Nothing more,nothing less. ☝👌🙏💕
Isa pa, I'll explore pa the world sooo okay ng di muna dumating si Mr. Right. :)



Aikatz