Well, I cant sleep, as usual, thats why Im writing/typing, Just like what am I 2 years ago, puzzled and a bit curios whats gonna happen on me next, I mean, after shang. Ung feeling na eto na un eh, isang step nalang, and Im on what Ive been working on for 5 years, to be on a cruiseship. I know I work so hard just to make it happened, step by step. When I took that course(SRC-steward) last 2009, I never thought that I really do want to work on a cruise. But as what Ive said, God has plans and purpose why did I had to go though everything. Kaya all I have to do is just believe and trust Him, fully. Nasa final stage na, ngaun pba ako aatras?. hehe. Bout my life? Well, I can say that its not a 100% good, but atleast Im not giving up right? Totoo pla tlga that when you get older, mas nagiging serious na lahat, ung mga tao sa paligid mo eh panglong term na, Hay, non sense nanman ba ku? Let it be,ung feeling na may gusto aku iexpress but I cant elaborate it, hahhaha. Basta one thing is for sure, I still and always trust God no matter what happen. Un lang ang iisipin ku lagi.
Bout Rob.
haha. cge tawa, as what Ive said last december, last entry na un, well I guess not. You may think Im too much, pero ganun tlga eh. Ayoko magpakasinungaling sa sarili ko, that's what I feel eh, sana nga its all in my mind lang, but its not. Ayoko na magbigay ng taning sa self ku kung hanggang kelan, Let it be, as much that I want to. No worries, we were not together. He is courting his ex in Bicol na, By the way, he left Manila na, and stay there for good, while waiting for him to be assigned as a policeman. He left last Feb. 03, 2015. Well, I did felf bad, coz I would miss him much, and the chances of seeing him will be much more impossible now. But at the same time, happy coz I got a chance na makita pa sya before he left, he even helped me when I needed to, last Jan. 20 for my papers, I never expect it, na sya pa makakatulong sakin that day, and was willing to make efforts. We also watched "taken 3" after a week, that was the last time I saw him. I know, wala na akong ineexpect sa kanya, o samin, I love him, and no matter how much I prove it, it wont work, I understand na, I still have dreams to be achieved, goals to pursue, and so he was, ewan ko kung anong plans nya with his life now, we may cross different roads, atleast were okay, ayokong habang buhay itanim lahat ng galit ku sa knya coz it wont help me grow. Alam ku, sobra at higit na higit na sakit ang inabot ku sa kanya, and we cant change what he had done, pero I think ung forgiveness and acceptance ang unang makkapagpalaya sakin, he made me stronger, all the lessons na natutunan ku helped me alot to become a better me. Do I love him? yes i do, I really do, I can forgive him over and over again until he gets tired of fooling me and realize that I deserve his love, but thats not the case now, I have to think the people around me, my family, friends na binigo nya, sila naman ung bibigyan ku ng halaga this time, If he can still make them feel that hes worth it for me. But I know it wont happen, ever. Hay Rob, mahal kita, pero I trust God's will, Pinapasakanya ku na lahat, I know your a good person, I wont be inlove with you if your not. I know my deep pain ka lang sa heart mu, but I believe mabait ka, there is goodness in you. I love you. Sana maging happy ka always. firsttrue love ko :)
Sleepy head finally 4:11 am Goodmorning Easter Sunday! Good days are coming! thankyou LordGod <3
aikatzzzzzzz
